Pain in the neck: An update

My neck is fine today, too. I think it really was that damned chair!

Ol' Clumsy is at it again

Plus: My stomach's feeling better.

Minus: I stabbed myself in the eye with a garden stake.

I thought I was going to have my first ride in an ambulance there for a minute. My eye hurt. I bent over to retrieve a ball from the garden and BLAMMO! blinding pain in my right eye. I don't know how my eyeball is still stuck in my head. It's fine, though--no bruising, bleeding, hemorraging, etc.--just a nasty headache in my eye socket and forehead.

I'm such a tool.

Mommy's Little Helper

Petunia and I attended the APA conference in Hawaii a few years ago. One day we were up in Haleiwa looking for The World's Best Shave Ice and I fell out BIGTIME: I had a major spasm in my shoulder that must have triggered my vagus nerve. I got all shocky--trouble breathing, crazy heart rate, pale and sweating, etc. I thought I was having a heart attack, actually; I had to lie down in the middle of a hot parking lot (in my swimsuit!) until my heart and respiration rates got slower. Once I could breathe again and see clearly, the pain in my shoulder was out of control. It radiated up into my neck and down into my arm and back. It took assloads of ibuprofen and several days to get it back to normal.

Since then, I've had the same shoulder pain a few times. I got it again around 4am this morning; I turned over in my sleep and something gave way in my shoulder. It's been awful all day, and now my other shoulder's starting to hurt because I'm carrying myself all crooked and crazy. This morning I tried heat, cold, stretching, Ben Gay, massage, and ibuprofen, and nothing worked to ease the pain.

So I busted out the vicodin.

Here's what's awesome: Working with toddlers while being jacked up on vicodin. Can I get an Amen?

Seriously, the vicodin doesn't even touch the pain; it just makes me not care about it. And I'm in my right mind, not fucked up at all. However, now I know why they call it Mommy's Little Helper: I have the patience of a saint on this shit!

Good thing I only have a few pills left, eh?

A trip to the ER

Petunia and I spent last night in the emergency room, but not for the reason you might think. I had the Norwalk virus over the weekend, and I needed a couple liters of IV fluids to get myself together after the fireworks stopped. Here's what's not fun: the Norwalk virus.

I was so afraid (read: SO AFRAID) that Ariana was going to go into labor while I was being sick. But she didn't, and today we're scheduled to meet her at 2pm. I'd been feeling nervous about the meeting, but now I'm mostly nervous about making it through lunch at the restaurant without feeling ill. Don't worry--I won't actually eat! It's still BRAT diet for me, if I can even stomach that.

All this illness led to my first ever sick days from my business. I felt awful calling my families early yesterday morning, but I just couldn't do it. I feel better about my decision after last night's visit to the ER. I took off this morning for good measure; I already had this afternoon off for the meeting with Ariana, and I figured I could use a little extra sleep.

So far, so good.

A very special thank you to my beloved Petunia! You washed out sick bowls, brought me Tylenol every 4 hours, disinfected the house, bought out the "clear liquids" section at Price Chopper, held my hand in the ER, and were the very best caregiver the world has ever seen. Thank you for taking such good care of me!