Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Under the Sea: A Wedding to Remember

By now y'all know that I love weddings. You also know that I'm v. happy to help the brides and/or grooms in order to further my dream of becoming J.Lo in The Wedding Planner. To this end, Petunia and I have tied ribbons, arranged flowers, taken photographs, read poems, cut tulle, and given toasts, among other wedding-related duties. We're pretty flexible and patient (not to mention crafty!), so folks generally take us up on our offer of help. However, when M. got back to us yesterday regarding her wedding this Sunday, we were startled to read the following:

"Our centerpieces are big bubble bowls with sea glass in the bottom, a gerber daisy floating in the top, and two goldfish swimming in the bowl! I am so happy about them. However, I am pertrified of a fish dying during the reception! Could you guys be the fish watchers??? You do not have to walk in circles to all the tables continuously checking to see if all the fish are alive, but if you could periodically just take a peek, I would be so relieved to know that there are no belly-up floaters at the tables. We will have a backup supply of fish, and the coordinator at the Inn will help out, too. So if one fish kicks the bucket, you could remove the bowl, take it into the lobby, bury the dead one, and bring the bowl back in with a live one. We'll have a fish net and everything all there. So what do you think??? Sound like the most bizarre thing someone has ever asked you to do????"

Um, YES. Seriously, how grody is this wedding request? But also, could it be any funnier? When Petunia forwarded it to me, I was like, "Is this a joke? Am I drunk right now?" Can't y'all just see me in my pretty pretty dress crying over a dead fish? I wonder what J.Lo would do.

And also: How does one accessorize a fish net?

And HALSO: You know which suckers are going to end up taking home all of the centerpieces. Place your bets now: How many fish do you think will be in our home on Sunday night?


Anonymous Jenny PP said...

First answer this - how many centerpieces are there? Then I'll have your answer.

3:06 PM  
Blogger Clementine said...

I don't know. But here's another bet-worthy question: How many fish do you think we'll have to bury on Sunday?

Also, I really love J&M, but this completely cracks me up. Live fish at a reception? Wowza.

Hey, I wonder if they're serving fish for dinner? If so, maybe we could work a goldfish or two into the mix. It could be a delicacy of sorts.

3:13 PM  
Blogger Clementine said...

Also, I still don't know if it's a joke.

3:14 PM  
Blogger Canada said...

Now see, if they had been smart, they would have put 1 fish in each bowl - 1 siamese fighting fish. They are beautiful, and extremely resilinet. And then you could have a fish rumble later!

My big question - how many dares to wallow fish will happen during the reception? I guess it depends on whether it's an open bar or not, right?

FYI - I know someone who had goldfish centrepieces, and none died during the reception(two centrepieces got dropped on the way home, apparently, so those fish didn't make it). Have fun, fish-lady!

3:22 PM  
Anonymous Jenny PP said...

I'm basically speechless.

4:40 PM  
Anonymous SLC Punk said...

This is the greatest thing ever. I hope you have a large aquarium. I'll expect pictures next week.

5:00 PM  
Blogger Clementine said...

Oh, there will be pictures. Rest easy on that.

6:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

in high school, we used to go to the pet store and get a few gold fish and leave them in our water glass as part of the tip1!! I can't believe i did that!
As for the wedding, have fun adding THAt to your resume!

8:30 PM  
Blogger Canada said...

OMG, Lola, that's awful!! Can we do it soon - maybe at Baton ROuge?

And that would be resilient - duh, I can spell!

10:18 PM  

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