Last night
Last night's MAPP class was a complete train wreck. The topic was "Connecting with Birth Family, Kin, & Culture," and it made the crazy come out BIGTIME. Confidentiality be damned; the following things were actually said during last night's class:
--"I didn't bring Black people over on boats 250 years ago. I don't have anything to do with it."
--"Why is race such a big deal to them? It's not a big deal to me. I'd hate it if people identified me as white all the time."
--"We have people with alternative lifestyles in this class."
--"Now that everything's so multicultural and mixed race and everything, I don't see why we're making such a big deal about this. In the olden days maybe, but not now."
--"Why are you talking about race so much? This isn't even about race, it's about culture."
--"I can't believe [that mom on the video] said she needs to teach her [Black son] about driving while Black. That's crazy! She's setting him up to see white people and police as all bad!"
The social workers did a very poor job at facilitating the learning. The class was unsafe and it was fucked up. Petunia and I put in a call to them today to ask what the hell happened and to offer them some resources on systems of oppression theory. Here's hoping they acknowledge the situation; it'll suck even worse if they think that yesterday's class was a "good discussion."
I took the whole thing really personally. Too personally, probably. I live my life in such a way that people don't often tell me that I have an "alternative lifestyle," so when it happened I was flabbergasted. And since Hester Willa will most likely be a child of color, every racist comment made me feel crazy protective over our child-to-be. I shed a few tears in the bathroom during break time last night, but now I'm ready to address the racism and heterosexism head-on.
In the meantime, only 2 more classes to go. Then our homestudy will begin.
--"I didn't bring Black people over on boats 250 years ago. I don't have anything to do with it."
--"Why is race such a big deal to them? It's not a big deal to me. I'd hate it if people identified me as white all the time."
--"We have people with alternative lifestyles in this class."
--"Now that everything's so multicultural and mixed race and everything, I don't see why we're making such a big deal about this. In the olden days maybe, but not now."
--"Why are you talking about race so much? This isn't even about race, it's about culture."
--"I can't believe [that mom on the video] said she needs to teach her [Black son] about driving while Black. That's crazy! She's setting him up to see white people and police as all bad!"
The social workers did a very poor job at facilitating the learning. The class was unsafe and it was fucked up. Petunia and I put in a call to them today to ask what the hell happened and to offer them some resources on systems of oppression theory. Here's hoping they acknowledge the situation; it'll suck even worse if they think that yesterday's class was a "good discussion."
I took the whole thing really personally. Too personally, probably. I live my life in such a way that people don't often tell me that I have an "alternative lifestyle," so when it happened I was flabbergasted. And since Hester Willa will most likely be a child of color, every racist comment made me feel crazy protective over our child-to-be. I shed a few tears in the bathroom during break time last night, but now I'm ready to address the racism and heterosexism head-on.
In the meantime, only 2 more classes to go. Then our homestudy will begin.
posted by Clementine at 12:56 PM
7 Comments:
Oh no! A terrible class right before the family and friends one! Do I need to lay the smack down next week?
PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING CRAZY! Also, "we have people with alternative lifestyles in here"? Huh? Do you also have "colored folks" and while you're at it are there any heebs or spics or wops or chinks? WTF for real? I mean, I'm just saying. I hope this comment isn't illegal because I just said all that stuff.
OK, I'm going now but I'm flabbergasted. Sometimes I feel like I've been magically transported back in time.
Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. And, unfortunately, not surprising.
It sucks to be in your position, but Hester Willa will be lucky to have parents who do get it, and you'll be lucky to have him or her to teach about it.
I'm sorry, someone said "olden times." The rest is so appalling I can't even comment.
Please listen to the new Christina Aguilera CD, Back To Basics. It will help you realize that there is still good in this world.
"I am beautiful, no matter what you say. Your words can't bring me down. So don't you bring me down, don't you bring me down, don't you bring me down today" (with feeling).
I dedicate that to you AJWP and your alternative lifestyle.
They are all a bunch of fucking fucker faces (thanks Jenny for that swear combination. It rocks).
Seriously friends, I had to hold my hand over my mouth and try not to run for the door to make it through that. It was horrible beyond words. Ms. AJWP earned a gold star for returning to the second half of the meeting after break.
I am stunned that people in the room felt so comfortable saying such fucked up shit. Like it was an everyday thing to say such crazy ass biggoted crap. And they tried to beat down anyone else who challenged them or stated anything different. The social workers failed the class for keeping it safe. It was a horror show.
Uuhhh. . . and they're going to let these people adopt children? Wrong, very very very very wrong. Currently, in the media, there is less discrimination towards African Americans, but that's just because everyone is bashing the entire Muslim community for what a smaller group of religious extremists are doing. It doesn't mean there isn't discrimination and worse to other non-white people.
And "alternative lifestyle"? Doesn't that imply a choice? I mean, if you were swingers, I'd consider that to be an alternative lifestyle (though frankly, that would not be an appropriate disclosure for anyone during MAPP class, IMHO). But two people in a loving and committed relationship, so committed that they want to have a child together? How the fuck is that "alternative"? My stomach hurts just thinking about the shit you guys are having to put up with. Hester Willa is going to be one lucky kid to have two such normal and balanced parents.
Alternative. Bah!!!!
Yeah, fucking fucker faces is right.
Well, the good news is that the social workers realize that they fucked up. I don't know if/how they're planning to address it since next week is Friends and Family Night, but at least they acknowledged it to Petunia over the phone yesterday. And they also said that since this is a "period of mutual evaluation" they've made notes of who said what, meaning that some families won't be considered good matches for kids of color or LGBT kids.
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