Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Something good has happened

Okay, so remember that adoption conference I was so excited about? Well, there's more to that story! I couldn't bear to write about it at the time because I was on such an emotional roller coaster, but check this out:

The backstory: When we were rejected from DSS last summer because of the 2 kids under 2 rule, the social worker told us we couldn't do a single thing for our application until August 7, the day my 2nd youngest child turns two. Specifically, we couldn't take the MAPP class before our home safety visit had been written up and approved. FYI, MAPP is an 8-week class required by the state before we can begin the homestudy, so you see why it would be helpful to take it during this 13-month wait from last July to this August. Another thing to know about MAPP: it's not offered very frequently, so you're shit outta luck if you can't make the first available class.

So back to the adoption conference: After telling P., the head of adoptions at HLW, about our situation, she said we could take their next MAPP class! It starts on July 11, and P. said she'd simply hold our paperwork until August 7. When I heard the news, I felt like I was floating. I thanked P. enthusiastically, then went into a corner of the hall to bawl my eyes out.

The next morning, I read over the application P. had given me. Though HLW would come to Worcester for our homestudy, we'd have to go to them for the MAPP class, which seemed fair. But then it hit me: the class is from 6-9pm on Tuesdays in Boston, an hour away. The kids' parents come for pick-up between 5:30-6pm. I wouldn't be able to make this class, special permission or not, and I was crushed. It was like more proof that I was choosing other people's children over my own child, AGAIN.

At first I couldn't see how I could ask my families to rearrange their schedules for me. I know that child care isn't a luxury for them, and I take pride in my consistency and availability. But after a while, I decided that it couldn't hurt to ask. Maybe they had a little flexibility in their schedules, maybe not. But this is very important to me, and at least I'd know for sure.

So the following Monday, I wrote the parents a nice letter and spoke with them at pick-up. The very next day, one of my families said it was no problem to pick up their child at 4:30pm; in an amazing display of kindness, they also said they could take the other two kids if their parents couldn't get off work. I was elated! But then, characteristically, my other family was silent on the issue until I brought it up again this morning:

AJWP, striving for a neutral tone: So, have you given any thought to whether you're able to pick up the kids at 4:30 on Tuesdays in July and August?
Dad, confused: What?
AJWP, trying not to freak out: For my MAPP class--that adoption class, remember?
Dad, dodging the question: Oh yeah. Well...um....
AJWP, desperately: Junior's parents said they could care for your kids on some of those Tuesdays if you're not able to take off work an hour early.
Dad, confidently: Yeah, hey, maybe we could trade off. I bet we can work it out--we've got plenty of time.
AJWP, shaking with mixture of anger and relief: So do you think it's safe for me to go ahead and register for the class?
Dad, magnanimously: Sure. Why not?

So there it is, folks: Something Has Gone Right With Our Adoption Plan! Huzzah!

5 Comments:

Blogger Pearl said...

yay!!!!! Good news is great!!! :)

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Jenny PP said...

That's awesome! But duh to the oblivious dad!

3:27 PM  
Blogger Psycho Kitty said...

Oh honey, that's so good!

5:01 PM  
Blogger Canada said...

Oh double double Yay!!! And I'm betting I know which family was the staller!

6:43 PM  
Blogger Clementine said...

Um, YES. Canada, you're correct.

Thanks for the good thoughts, guys. Pet and I completed the paperwork last night, and it should go out in the mail this afternoon at 2:45pm. Once it arrives at HLW, they'll run an initial criminal background check and we'll be enrolled in our MAPP class! YAY.

1:55 PM  

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