Saturday, April 22, 2006

Earth Day: So What?

So it’s Earth Day. Yahoo.

Strangely, my neighbors have been celebrating Earth Day all week by de-cluttering their yards. The Circus Family finally got rid of 2 truckloads of shit (propane tanks, rusted bikes, an ATV, a busted old boat, etc.) that had been cluttering their postage stamp yard; trash from the has-been crack house next door was hauled away; and the former sex work/drug trade parking lot across the street has been polished to a high shine. Now it’s so spiffy I bet I couldn’t find a used syringe if I tried.

As for us, Petunia and I bought a compost bin. Next we’re going to start wearing batik and holding drum circles—y’all come join us if you’re in the ‘hood. I admit I’m a little sketched out by the potential smell factor of the bin, but I like the idea of composting at home. Plus, I placed it right along the fence where the neighbor kids like to tease Clara, so even if it does stink a little, I’ll be getting even in a passive-aggressive kind of way. What? Just doing my part for the environment!
And in late breaking news, we received our first Christmas gift today. For Christmas 2006. From my in-laws, who really are outlaws since they practically disowned their daughter when we got engaged. I’m just so very glad they find it in their hearts to send us tasteful gifts like the one pictured here. I think you’ll agree it’s gorge-ous (or gourd-ous). So, uh, happy holidays. Christmas, Earth Day, whatever.


Blogger Hashbrown said...

If anyone wants this thing, we will send it to you postage paid. I do not want this in my house any longer than it has to be here.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Psycho Kitty said...

Huh? What up with that??
And, uh...what IS it?
And they actually said it was a Christmas gift?
This better have happened after I called, cause if I didn't get details about this in real time, I'm gonna be bummed, you guys.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Canada said...

Hmmm. . . I sense re-gift. Maybe a donation to a local college. Talk to Pearl - she knows the number! (it's "neutral ground", y'know)

6:45 PM  
Blogger Hashbrown said...

It is a gourd that has had the top sawed off, painted in a very unusual manner (mind you the paint inside is flaking off), and has some sticks attached across it with a rock strapped to the sticks. What would you call it cause I sure as hell do not know? AJWP calls it a gourd bowl. I call it ugly.

Yes, Canada, maybe the said college would be "neutral ground" for such a "donation."

There are too many fuckers in this world for my liking today.

7:26 PM  
Blogger missscarlet said...

I don't understand the sticks. Is this something they *would* give their loved ones, or do you think it was a re-gift?

3:30 AM  
Blogger Hashbrown said...

Oh no, It was a gift, not a regift. There was a note enclosed from the "artist" saying something like 'i hope all your children enjoy the gourdous gifts'.

As for the sticks, they are afixed to the gourd-bowl and have a stone and some beads attached to them.

I am not sure what it is for. I mean, do you hang it on the wall? is it supposed to sit out on a coffee table? It is an enigma.

7:54 AM  
Anonymous lola said...

I think that your trashy neighbour and mine should move in together!

2:11 PM  
Blogger Canada said...

And Lola isn't referring to me!! :)

3:46 PM  
Blogger Clementine said...

I told Petunia she should take it outside and beat it with her crutch. Alternatively, she could use it as a chamber pot.

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Jenny PP said...

Ooooo. Chamber pot is a good idea. Then put it in the compost bin.

11:28 PM  
Blogger missscarlet said...

Wow guys - what a passive-aggressive symbolic gift! Nothing says "I love you honey, but it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" like a fugtastic gourd.
Like homophobia itself, the gourd is nonsensical, empty, and useless. Destroy it in a symbolic ceremony. Fight the gourd!

1:22 PM  
Blogger Hashbrown said...

You might think that, Miss Scarlett, but they sent one to each of my siblings. I think it is just fugtastic as you said. I cannot wait to hear what my brother and his wife say when they open it.

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Jenny PP said...

Oh yes, I want to know what your brother says too. Ha ha! It's so ugly! What the hell?

10:40 AM  
Blogger Hashbrown said...

Oh, I got an idea. I will send it to my brother who doesn't talk to me so he will have a matching set.

or i will smash it with my crutch.

Or do you think I could make some $ on ebay?

1:23 PM  

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