Thursday, May 25, 2006

Buffalo girl, won't you come out tonight

Many moons ago, I had a friend whose pediatrician told her that that there are two types of people: those descended from buffalo and those descended from fish. She believed him until she was in college and made some offhand comment about being descended from buffalo, at which point the backstory emerged and we all died laughing at her. Aren't friends great?

Except I shouldn't have laughed, because it's becoming increasingly clear that I am descended from buffalo.

You know that hump on the top of your back, the one the doctors call C7 because it's your 7th cervical vertebra? Maybe you don't know it if you're descended from fish, but if you're descended from buffalo you'll know exactly where I mean. Well, mine's overrun with stress. It aches all the time and threatens me with a premature dowager's hump, which isn't the most attractive of looks. I've started doing PT exercises to help it out, but it doesn't matter: that's where the stress goes.

Fellow buffaloes, I'm asking for your help: what's a tense buffalo girl like me to do?


Blogger Canada said...

I dunno, I'm a fish. All my tension goes to my fins (shoulders). :) I think that Petunia should rub the buffalo stress-hump. That's what marriage is all about!

10:26 PM  
Blogger Psycho Kitty said...

Neuromuscular massage? Hurts like an SOB but can really do quite a bit.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Jenny PP said...

I tried to explain this story to someone recently and I don't think they believed me. Also, is Petunia a fish? Because if so, remember, she can breathe under water.

Sorry about your tension... at least you're only descended from a buffalo and not a camel.

1:00 AM  
Blogger Hashbrown said...

I would love to be descended from a camel. I could drink alot of coffee and then have it stored up and could go for weeks without a drink. Yes!

Maybe on our vaca, we could get massages at the tacky hotel! It may be costly, but it would be worth it!! Think about it.

I love you, sweetheart, hump and all!

8:24 AM  
Blogger Hashbrown said...

about the camel thing, I want the water storage ability, not the two humps.

8:25 AM  
Blogger Canada said...

Isn't the two hump one a dromedary? And if you were camel-descended, you could really spit!

9:17 AM  
Blogger Hashbrown said...

Yes! I would love that!

12:53 PM  
Blogger missscarlet said...

I think the "hump" that old ladies get is a) bad posture b) osteoporosis. You are 29, meaning that by next year, you'll be losing bone mass, so definitely lift some weights and take calcium supplements to guard against osteoporosis which is no party.
There's also yoga moves you can do to relieve stress in your upper back, check them out on the yoga journal website.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Hashbrown said...

IT is actually called kyphosis.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Clementine said...

Wow. I really don't want to be a camel--buffalo is bad enough! Also, spitting is gross.

Thanks for the tips, y'all. Stress migrates around my body, which is kind of fun in a Where's Waldo? kind of way. In college it was my stomach; when I first started this job it was my jaw, and now it's my buffalo hump. Sigh.

PK, Pet and I talked about getting massages this week, and I think that would be swell. It would hurt but I bet it would be good in the end.

Missscarlet, I'm on top of the osteoporosis thing since my ma has bone issues. I do a multivitamin daily and eats lots of dairy and greens, plus I buy calcium-enriched foods. I don't lift weights per se, but I'm constantly holding 30-50 lb. children (and throwing them into the air, and tossing them around, etc.), so I feel pretty good about my upper body re: weight-bearing exercise. And as for the rest of me, it has to haul my ass around, so it gets plenty of weight to bear, too.

Y'all are awesome. I think I'm going to try a warm pad on it tonight, but since I just started my VACATION, I expect it won't bother me a bit this week. SWEET!

7:46 PM  
Blogger Alol said...

Vitamin D needed to absorb calcium
YOGA, PILATES, CHOCOLATE and COCKTAILS (not necessarily in that order-depends on your mood)
The yoga and pilates are for your 'physical needs' (okay, yoga is good mentally too) and the choco and cocktails are for your 'mental' needs which we all know, if not taken care of (stress etc), turn into physical problems.

:)Lola aka yoga teacher:)

8:26 PM  

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