Hot & Heavy @ The Homo Depot
As Petunia reported in today's post, yesterday we installed a new kitchen faucet. It took us nearly 10 hours and 4 trips to Home Depot, but we finally did it. DIY projects are always v. stressful, but this one was especially onerous: Highlights from the day included one of us shitting in an unflushable toilet and both of us discussing nipples with a Home Depot employee.
It turns out that plumbing is completely heterosexist and v. pornographic as well. It's the "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" department of home repair. If you already knew this, I'd have appreciated a heads-up. As you might imagine, we had a steep learning curve.
Here are some tips for all you sister lezzie DIYers:
1. When it comes to plumbing, female parts cannot screw other female parts.
2. Female parts can only screw male parts.
3. If you want to screw 2 female parts, you're going to need a nipple.
Can you even believe this craziness?
It turns out that plumbing is completely heterosexist and v. pornographic as well. It's the "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" department of home repair. If you already knew this, I'd have appreciated a heads-up. As you might imagine, we had a steep learning curve.
Here are some tips for all you sister lezzie DIYers:
1. When it comes to plumbing, female parts cannot screw other female parts.
2. Female parts can only screw male parts.
3. If you want to screw 2 female parts, you're going to need a nipple.
Can you even believe this craziness?
posted by Clementine at 10:05 AM
5 Comments:
Your blog is way funnier than mine about the nipples and screwing females. You win.
Your blog is way funnier than mine about the nipples and screwing females. You win.
OMIGOD, LOL!!!!!!! Gotta love the plumbing dept at the HD!
I've always wondered about the heterosexist trappings of electronics (only the male and female parts can hook up); I didn't know this was the case with plumbing too! I predict you and your partner will start a popular new company called Rainbow Plumbing wherein you ditch the prescriptive language of plumbing for fun references to queer heroes - i.e., the "Toklas" u-pipe can attach to the "Stein"; the "Heche" is universally compatible, and so forth. I'd hire you in a second, even if you couldn't get my toilet to flush!
missscarlet
Also, all the terminology for plumbing, etc. is v. upsetting because why is it all sexual anyway? I find the whole thing creepy. Good job DIY-ers!
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