Call waiting
You know what? It's been over a month since my mother said those nasty things to me about our adoption, and we haven't really talked since then. I thought it had only been a couple of weeks, but I just went back and reread my original post. It's been over a full month. I sure wish she'd call and apologize.
When I told my brother what she'd said, he was v. upset. Fortunately, Orca's sense of humor saved the day--he made a few jokes about how I couldn't knit so much anymore because I needed to work on my "adoption project," and I felt about a million times better. I'd been feeling terrible about the whole incident, but his reaction reinforced what I'd already been thinking: what she said was mean and wrong.
I'm sort of surprised at my own reaction to all of this. Generally, I'm able to rationalize my mother's behavior. "She's in pain," I think. "She doesn't mean to be hurtful, she's just trying to make herself feel better." Somehow, though, this time it's different. I'm finding that as much as I'd like to be in touch with her about silly day-to-day things, I can't justify what she said. She was completely wrong to say those things about us and about Hester Willa. She meant to hurt me, and she hasn't taken responsibility for doing so.
When I told my brother what she'd said, he was v. upset. Fortunately, Orca's sense of humor saved the day--he made a few jokes about how I couldn't knit so much anymore because I needed to work on my "adoption project," and I felt about a million times better. I'd been feeling terrible about the whole incident, but his reaction reinforced what I'd already been thinking: what she said was mean and wrong.
I'm sort of surprised at my own reaction to all of this. Generally, I'm able to rationalize my mother's behavior. "She's in pain," I think. "She doesn't mean to be hurtful, she's just trying to make herself feel better." Somehow, though, this time it's different. I'm finding that as much as I'd like to be in touch with her about silly day-to-day things, I can't justify what she said. She was completely wrong to say those things about us and about Hester Willa. She meant to hurt me, and she hasn't taken responsibility for doing so.
posted by Clementine at 3:31 PM
3 Comments:
I am proud of you for waiting for your mother's appology instead of dismissing her behavior. What she said was wrong and hurtful. You do not deserve that at all. You are a amazing loving woman and will make a fantastic caring mother one day soon. I hope for her sake she comes to her senses very soon and appologizes for what she said. It was nothing but meanness and that is not ok.
Seconded.
Thirded. Even though she's my special mom, she doesn't get off the hook for this one. She's going to have to apologize. Not cool.
Post a Comment
<< Home