Tuesday, September 11, 2007


Lately I've been hard at work on Hester's lifebook. I just finished most of the text and I think it's coming together well, but I wonder if I put too much information in it. I don't want to leave anything out, but I'm also the kind of person who thinks that more is more when it comes to information.

I used Beth O'Malley's framework for constructing the book but wrote it with my own phrasing, including lots of little details like what Ariana ate when she was pregnant with Hester and how one of Hester's relatives is a Junior Olympian. I didn't shy away from the birds and bees stuff, or Hester's birth and hospitalization, or the very difficult reasons why Ariana and Bobby said they made an adoption plan for her. I think it's a good lifebook, but I also think it's pretty weighty. Overwhelming, even. But doesn't Hester deserve to know her truth from the get-go, details and all?

I just hope I'm not effing this up.



Anonymous Jenny PP said...

I have very very limited experience at all related to this but I always remember this really sweet little girl I babysat for a little while when I was in high school who was adopted. She was about 6 and knew the whole story of being adopted and how and why and she seemed to be really cool with it. She would open tell people about it, etc.

I guess it seems like knowing the story probably was good for her. I'm sure it will be good for Hester too. Otherwise, what a shock it would be at some point, right? You don't want her to ever feel like you guys were lying to her about it.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Shirky said...

please give me any advice you have how to start, this is a project i have not got a handle on yet.

5:06 PM  
Blogger Abigail said...

I think that sounds really beautiful. She will take what she needs out of it as she grows. Having the truth of where she comes from there for her from the start is really a gift, I think. I often still have questions about my early years, and my parents just don't remember.

6:09 PM  
Blogger lo said...

No No. Never too much or too weighty. As someone who had to hunt for simple answers, I think the life book is a beautiful labour of love that Hester will surely love and be thankful for.

6:21 PM  
Blogger Canada said...

I think Hester will be thrilled to have such a detailed account of her life from before she was born. You are such an amazing mom, Clementine :)

12:26 AM  
Blogger Mommato2 said...

That sounds like a great idea...would love to share it with my friend who adopted a beautiful baby girl. How does one get started on a life book??

8:04 PM  
Blogger Clementine said...

Hey Mommato2, your friend might check out Beth O'Malley's LifeBooks book. I've found it to be very helpful re: structure and phrasing. Best wishes!

6:42 AM  
Blogger Mommato2 said...

Thanks Clementine....I will pass this on. Just read your other post, and that little boy sure is lucky to have a caregiver who is so interested in helping him out.

Take care.

9:01 PM  
Blogger Psycho Kitty said...

I think you're totally right to put everything in. If you are concerned that some of it might be too weighty, just remember that you get to choose *how* and *when* you relate that info to her, right? You might not present the heavy stuff to her when she's five, but when she's 10 or 15 or 20, you'll be glad you didn't leave anything out.

11:30 AM  

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