Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Drinkin' and bloggin'

SO. Tuesday nights are now Clementine Nights in our household since Petunia's new work schedule keeps her away until 10pm or so. And how did I celebrate tonight's Clementine Night? By having a gigantic rum and Diet Coke (EWWW!) and watching that damned Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Which is SO CHRISTIAN, by the way. Which I'd forgotten since the last time I saw it eons ago. Also, rum and DC really is nasty, but I didn't want to open a can of The Real Thing after already having opened a can of The Aspartame Thing. I'm cheap like that.

And yes, slightly buzzed too.

So I probably shouldn't be posting tonight; I should be lying in bed hoping to have another happy pregnancy dream like the one I had last night. But I'm still feeling all bruised and melancholy, and trying to sleep wouldn't be the best thing right now.

And so here's the question: Aren't prospective grandmothers supposed to be excited about their grandkids-to-be? Aren't they supposed to knit little sweaters and ask about names and buy way too much baby stuff? When my cousin mentioned in passing that he and his wife wanted to have kids, my aunt started crocheting. She didn't say anything to her son and his wife, but she slowly stockpiled a layette for her first grandchild. And when my other aunt learned about her grandkids, she all but shouted from the rooftops. I knew my mom would be more low-key than the two of them, but I didn't expect such antipathy.

That's why I'm feeling sorry for myself. Once again, her behavior clouds my excitement and joy. I try to shrug it off, but the closer we get to becoming parents, the more I feel the urge to protect my own growing family. If she can't get excited now when we're so close, what am I going to do with her once our kiddo comes home? Our poor kid already won't have one set of grandparents--Petunia's parents are out of the picture--and it would break my heart if her/his remaining grandma can't step up to the plate. I thought she could do it, but I'm becoming more and more uncertain.

Also, Christmas. Christmas. Christmas can be difficult under the best of circumstances, but I'm dreading the visit down south this year. I really want to see my dad and grandma and I absolutely have to be there for Beluga's first Christmas with the fam, but my mom has a way of hijacking the whole holiday regardless of the goings-on. With this year's additional tension I just don't know how we'll bear it. Last year my dad was in the hospital for chest pains for several days at Christmas, and I swear it was the stress of having all of us under one roof that did it to him. I hope we'll manage to avoid any hospital stays this time around. It seems like a manageable goal, but you never know.

Ugh. I'm a real ray of sunshine tonight. Now I really am going to bed.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Hashbrown said...

Parents should be excited. You are not wrong to expect that from at least one of our parents. Her behavior is not ok.

I am dreading Christmas down south as well. I am certain we will not hear the end of how awful our lists were and everything else wrong. It appears that she will be difficult to be with at best. But we have each other. You can lean on me and I'll support you. You know, being married means, I got your back and I do. You don't have to carry this alone.

10:38 PM  
Blogger Canada said...

{{{hugs}}}

for all the suckiness that has happened, and is bound to during the holidays.

And for the hangover that I really hope you didn't have this morning.

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Jenny PP said...

Parents are supposed to be excited, like Petunia said. You're not wrong to expect it, and I'm sorry your crazy mom is disappointing you again.

Like she said though, you don't have to bear it alone and I got your back too!

Also, I don't know if this is helpful or not, but my mom is excited about Hester Willa. Probably because she's living vicariously since none of her kids are making babies any time soon. I think it's really cute and I just wanted to let you know you were in her thoughts and she keeps asking about you two.

I really hope your mom can step up to the plate but regardless, HW will have loving parents and a great support network of friends and family.

I love you!

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Round is Funny said...

It's true that her behavior is not acceptable. The bad news: it's not unusual. The good news: she probably will come around when she meets Hester Willa.

When I told my Nana we were adopting, she FREAKED OUT. She insisted I couldn't love an adopted child like I would love "my own" (grrrr!) and then moved right on to freaking out about my having a black child. When I called her to tell her that Roo was coming, she actually disowned me for about an hour and a half.

I won't pretend things are perfect now, but we talk almost every week and she always asks about him, and sent us a big check for his college fund when he came home. You could have knocked me over with a feather.

Bottom line: your Mom doesn't want to lose you. When she sees your committment to Hester she will know what she needs to do and she'll do it.

I'm thinking of you!

10:53 AM  

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