Thursday, March 16, 2006

My body is a temple

Several years ago, I had to take steroids for a sinus infection that stopped by for the holidays and stayed until Easter. I'll just say this: if you ever see me willingly don a pair of sneakers and attempt to JOG around the neighborhood, you'll know why. I even tried to do push-ups, if you can imagine that sad, sorry sight. Once the prescription ended, I went back to my Diet Coke drinkin', Fry lovin' ways, and I was glad to be done with that temporary bout of healthy living.

So why am I now on a diet of 5 fruits/vegetable a day? Why am I now drinking 8 glasses of water between sunrise and sunset? WHO PUT STEROIDS IN MY DIET COKE? I feel completely crazy and out of sorts, and what's worse is that I chose this new lifestyle for myself (versus having it chosen for me by the dietician at a major teaching hospital, which is how I always thought I'd change my eating habits). Is this part of that goddamned Saturn Return? Is it another fad, like that summer I only ate Fruity Pebbles? Maybe the Rapture came last Friday and this is my hell. Hmm, that sounds about right.


Anonymous Jenny PP said...

Also, you're my hero if you can manage to actually eat the 5 servings of fruit/veg a day you're supposed to without shitting your brains out. I don't think I understand how a normal person is supposed to do this. Do I eat 2 grapefruit for breakfast, have a side of broccoli and a salad at lunch and then for dinner another salad, another veggie and a bowl of fruit for dessert? I mean, how much healthy stuff can one person eat?

The drinking water thing is good though. I try to drink it all day long at work. Did you know that often when you snack it's because you're thirsty? Or so I've heard. Anyway, on days when I actually drink a lot of water I feel better than on days when I forget.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Clementine said...

First of all, can I just say that we're going to have to buy extra toilet paper for all the pee this water diet is producing?

Second of all, let's not even get into the shitting.

Third of all, the fruit/veg thing is a hell of a lot easier once you realize that the serving size isn't necessarily a whole piece of fruit or plate of salad. See this website for details: Good times, no?

Fourth of all, I think what really freaked me out is hearing that the thirst recognition button is broken in most Americans, so we eat when we're actually thirsty. Isn't that so, so creepy? That's when I stared with the water hardcore. I still drink the DC, but not nearly as often.

But really, can you even believe I'm doing this?

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Jenny PP said...

I'm v. proud of you but also, maybe I need to read that page about veggies because Rob and I tried a little bit but we were like seriously, how can you do this?

9:33 AM  

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